quitchyer complainin'

man, i've been CRAZY the past few weeks!  i liken my behaviors and thoughts to a dairy queen blizzard.  a messy mix of irresistible but unhealthy morsels that require much concentration and discipline to resist.  the hormones, the season change, the pressure of the suburbs, the tennis moratorium, the constant intrusion of three small children in my eighteen inch bubble...  have all contributed to this recent state of relative dis-ease.

whilst in this state i have found myself doing a lot of moaning and groaning.  eeeeessshhhh... i can be such a complainer.  and like i said in my post a few  days ago, inviting complaints to the party will only attract more of the same.

trouble is, i'm a talker.  i'm an analyzer.  i'm an over-sharer.  so when i'm feeling all complain-y, i tell people.  i say, screw the edit button.  i'm going to play the raw footage.  i replay my ridiculous story of hormones and transition and children until it's completely played out.  i can only imagine that, as much as my friends love me, they cannot possibly enjoy listening to my woe-is-mess.  

it took me a casual comment by my friend RG (yes, lovey, your RG) to realize what i've been doing.  after complaining about having to mow the lawn and manage the kids and blah blah blah, RG looked at me and said, "it sounds like you need a drink."  a fairly benign remark, but this is the effect it had on me:

honestly, i've just been waiting for the dust to settle.  for the vacation to start.  for the big change that's gone come.  right?  b/c the hormones will balance.  b/c the kids will find a new routine.  b/c the pressure of living next door to the joneses only exists if i allow it to exist.  b/c my kids are actually pretty great.  b/c something wonderful will happen that will break me out of this state and everything will be better.  right?  right?  right?

WRONG.  if i want better i need to demand better.  ahem, invite better.  inviting better starts with changing my story. and that means i've got to stop making excuses, stop telling the old story.  it's easy to complain - it's mindless to complain.  complaining puts me back in the big dairy queen cup filled with things that are bad for me.  living with gratitude is much healthier, much more wholesome.  you can't complain and be grateful at the same time.  and this life is certainly something to be grateful for.  so, the change starts now.  the change starts with remembering that we are exactly where we are supposed to be - in this very moment.

we can all use a dose of moonstruck once in a while, can't we?  we all complain.  we all play the victim.  some more than others.  (i am so guilty of this.)  we air our grievances, forgetting that life is actually pretty damn great.  we tell our friends - can you believe she did that to me?  i feel sick.  my husband is so lazy.  i'm having the worst day.  my eyes are too wide apart.  this shopping cart has a squeaky wheel.  this traffic is atrocious.  the grass is too long.  there's never enough time.  it's too hot.  it's too cold.  the sun is too bright.  the rain is too wet.  

there.  that one's for you.  isn't that better?  

peace, love, gratitude,

v

p.s.

share this with someone who's been going through a tough time and complaining a lot lately.  hopefully they'll appreciate it and not slap you back.  ;-)

p.p.s.

the joneses don't really live next door.  my neighbors are actually extraordinary.  :-)

p.p.p.s.
this lawnmower was the inspiration for this blog post.  she was my final straw.  when she gave out about 7/8 of the way through the lawn, i tried to sweet talk her.  i caressed her, stroked her, i even did reiki on her.  she was so stubborn.  so i'd like to formally apologize to her for the kicking, cursing, and manhandling.  turned out all she needed was a little more fuel.  oops!  good girl.