afterlife

just watched a really great, really simple one-hour documentary by paul perry called "afterlife".  in it, perry interviews a couple of doctors of philosophy (including my boy raymond a. moody) who have spent their respective lifetimes researching evidence of life after life and interviewing folks who have had NDEs (near death experiences).

i was excited to happen across the program in my verizon "on demand" movie list...  and frankly surprised.  it seemed a little random wedged between "affair to remember" and "airplane".  i was also surprised by baby boy gobes who, long after bedtime, barreled into the family room with a hungry belly and a big smile.   so i fixed him a quick bowl of puffins then cozied up on the couch and let little man brush my hair for an hour while i watched my spirity flick.  is that bliss, or what? 

so back to the show - i liked it.  fearlessness was the overriding message of "afterlife".  any opportunity to be reminded to LIVE without fear of death inspires deep inner peace.  for this i am grateful and wanted to share a portion of the program that i found quite beautiful.

a woman named jenny somers, probably in her late forties or early fifties, told a short story about her own NDE.  she was a child at summer camp playfully hiding from one of her counselors.  she ducked into an cabin that was under construction and fell 15 feet into a hole in the floor.  for about an hour rescuers worked to lift her out and resuscitate her.  while the crew worked to save her, she had a classic NDE where she saw a loving, beautiful light, crossed over and met with her deceased family members, wanted desperately to stay in this heavenly realm but was encouraged to go back to her earthly body.  she did return and lived to tell her tale.

there was one thing in particular that made her story stand out to me.  she said that when she was "upstairs", jesus came to her and told her she could stay if she wanted - that the choice was hers.  this struck me b/c she is just a normal person and jesus was there for her.

jesus - the ultimate celebrity - counseled her and supported her and helped her make the best decision for her.  so cool, right?  i mean, people go absolutely nutty over celebrities today.  soap stars, movies stars, rock stars.  celebrities who don't return our fanatic emails, who begrudgingly pose for pics with us, who give us the finger when we try to talk to them on the street (except for lady gaga who is pure sweetness).  but then there's jesus,  one of the most celebrated men of all time, whose grace and acceptance and inclusiveness allows each of us a deeply personal relationship with him.  when we're sick, happy, confused, excited, or, as in this case, dead, he is there for us.  this is sort of a tangent, though, sorry.

anyway.  his presence in this ordinary girl's NDE was very confirming for me tonight.  i was meditating a couple weeks ago and jesus appeared to me and told me he loved me.  i'm not what you might call a "jesus freak", but i am a fan.  though honestly, i thought he might be a little pissed off at me following my tribute to him at easter.  so when he told me he loved me it was amazing and deeply comforting.

when i sat down later and thought about the my NJE (near jesus experience) i second-guessed it.  i thought, "no, that wasn't jesus.  he doesn't have time for me.  i'm just a nobody."  but seeing jenny somers tell her story tonight made me realize that i really did receive a jesusy high five during that meditation.  his love for me is real.  and personal.  and also very cool.

the other thing about jenny somers that caused a tiny shift in me tonight was her description of the way we function as human beings.  she said that we're born into these bodies and unplug from the universe, from the source.  that we spend our entire lives trying to fill ourselves up by plugging into a thousand different things.  we plug into our kids or our partners, our jobs or our hobbies, our athletics or our electronics - all in hopes of feeling happy and fulfilled.  when all we really need to do to feel full is to plug into the source.  i just thought this was a great visual metaphor.

i've absolutely noticed a change in my life since "plugging into" the universe.  there's no question that my most peaceful moments are rooted in a deepening connection with my being; and when i give myself over to that connection i feel a happiness like no other.  inexplicable happiness.  i was overcome by this feeling just the other day.  i thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest... but not a bloody explosion, just a loving one.  i felt an enormous feeling of love for everyone and everything i saw that it was impossible to contain my joy.  it was magnificent, and it's something that i experience more and more as a surrender my individuality and accept that i am part of something much bigger.

peace, love, gratitude, and really smooth hair,
v