a mindful event in boston

i've had the pleasure of meeting brian weiss at omega institute in rhinebeck, ny during one of his weekend-long semiars.  i'm excited to see him again this april 28th in boston.  i thought i would share the link for his appearance with john holland.  should be a very fun, emotional and illuminating day...

A DAY WITH DR. BRIAN WEISS AND JOHN HOLLAND

see you there!

peace, love, gratitude,
v

a story

the story of reconnection with my life's purpose.  hoping that this can help you recognize the whispers of your angels...  so they don't have to yell at you like mine did.  ;-)

 

so this 7 part program is called "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?"  we will film one segment just about every month on a mutually convenient day from 9:30am - 11:30am.  it will be fun.  it will be energizing.  it will be mind-opening.  it will be what we make it.

we will cover the following topics, though i am open to suggestion and would love your feedback, and when applicable and possible we will share the floor with a special guest who has expertise in the area of conversation:

energy healing

discovering our life's purpose

reincarnation:  east meets west

book club:  bring your favorite book and share why it rocked your world and how it can help the rest of us

meditation:  benefits, techniques and the amazing places it can take us

yoga's mind-body-soul connection

know your food source

if any (or all) of these subjects interest you and you would be brave enough to chat about them to an audience, please join me.  781.369.4144 or vanessagobes@gmail.com.  you can also facebook me.

big big XOs.

peace, love, gratitude,
v

i am good

i watched dr. wayne dyer's "wishes fulfilled" program last night on PBS.  he's such an awesome guy.  many of you probably read his books or watch his programming already but i just wanted to share my favorite moment from his lecture...  his "I AM" statements.

dr. wayne tells us that sleep is the time that our minds marinate - and the last thoughts that pass through our minds on the the way to la-la land are the thoughts that we brew for the next 8 hours or so.  so he urges us to keep those thoughts positive and affirming, so we soak in love while our busy minds take a snooze.  he says we should fill the last five minutes of wakefulness with "i am" statements.

personally, i really needed this affirmation last night, in particular.  i felt very unfocused and was feeling unlovable and undeserving of goodness.  as i fell asleep i reminded myself, "i am loving.  i am loved.  i am light.  i am worthy.  i am good," with hopes that the next day would bring new perspective.

i struggled still a bit today, but, with my fresh brewed perspective, decided that one of the best things i can do for myself to stay focused on my path and my goals is to limit my time on facebook.  i mean, seriously, holy time suck, batman.  i go through   phases with FB - ignoring my newsfeed for weeks or even months then getting hooked and reeled back in, usually through somebody's photos, and next thing you know i'm checking my friggin' page every hour to get a quick little crack high on witty commentaries and interesting online articles.  if i am going to actually BE and DO what i am wanting to BE and DO, i've got to discipline myself.  so let the limitations begin!  from now on i will only check FB once a day.

there was another thing that struck me today - not something that i need to change to make me better, but something that I AM doing that makes me GOOD now.  (phew!  i was hoping there would be something i didn't have to work at today!)

i videotaped a story this morning to share on my blog (maybe tomorrow) and had my girls watch it.  they liked it and then asked if they could record something, too.  as my oldest PG began to roll tape, she shut her eyes and calmly presented her buddha fingers saying, "be happy and peaceful with your inner buddha."  then in the next moment my little SG turned on itunes full blast, lifted up her dress for the camera and smacked her bare tush while belting out "party in the USA", all the time laughing hysterically.

if there are two sides of me, these are definitely them - the committed yogi and the dance-on-the-table-wanna-be-rockstar-but-am-a-little-too-old-to-be-cool-mother.  seeing evidence of my legacy in my girls' young lives made me very happy.  if there are two things i want to pass along to my children, they are peace and joy.  and i took this scene to be an ideal follow up to my prayers the night before.

so as i tucked my girls into bed tonight i thought of dr. wayne again.  i sent them to dreamland with their "i am" statements, bc it's never too early to start practicing good habits.  repeating after me, they affirmed, "i am loving.  i am loved.  i am healthy.  i am well.  i am happy.  i am good."  as i creeped out the bedroom door, PG piped out, "mommy, i feel weird."  i looked at her and laughed and said, "i am normal."  turning on the night light and heading downstairs i could hear her repeating, "i am normal.  i am normal..."  lol.

peace, love, gratitude,
v

it's-a-like deja vu...

i had the most terrifically intense feeling of deja vu on saturday night.  it was so intense in fact that i decided i'd have to blog about it on monday.  ;-)   i absolutely love the new age definition of deja vu and wanted to share it with you.

we all know the feeling associated with the phenomenon:  we've seen this before, we've lived this moment before, we've been here before.  it's a little freaky, right?  and it only lasts a moment or two.   next time it happens, feel free to get a little thrill b/c deja vu is a beautiful memory from your pre-birth planning session.

this pre-birth pow-wow is when your soul and the individual souls of your heavenly family gather around and lay out the path you will walk on for one particular lifetime.  if you are rolling your eyes and thinking, "this sounds crazy," stop for a minute.  do you believe god has a plan for you?  if so, how do you think god creates this plan?  we say phrases like, "it was meant to be," and, "it's in the stars," every day.  but let's stop to think about what this really means - because if you truly do believe in fate, destiny, or just plain god, there must be a process during which your fate is decided.

so imagine a white room - not limited to time and space like we are here on earth - but a boundless room where souls congregate and plan.  imagine your own soul - maybe in its purest form it looks like an amorphic ball of light and color, but in order for the other souls on your next life's path to recognize you here on earth, you try on your skin suit and join the meeting.  your spouse, your siblings, your friends and enemies, your parents, your children, your nieces and nephews and teachers and random strangers on the street who affect you in some way, if even for a moment in time.  everyone is "dressed" their part.  this is why sometimes we feel like we've met someone before or we connect instantly - literally, we are recognizing people from our pre-birth experiences!

together you decide how you will help and challenge each other.  how you will hate and love each other.  where you will live and what pets you will have.  when and from what your body will die away.  what special talents you will be provided with in order to fulfill your life's purpose.  there is purpose and divine order for your lifetime that, when in motion, seems like chaos.

so keep imagining - light beings around a table, each dressed in his or her latest skin suit, everyone working together under the guidance of their master spirits in order to create the best opportunity for you to grow and learn and achieve your purpose in this lifetime.  on a side note, i think this a perfect time to point out how very important each of us is.  there is a phenomenal amount of energy poured into each lifetime.  each of us plays a specific role, each life is unique and important, special and valuable.

during the process you are able to view moments of your upcoming lifetime.  again, time and space not limiting issues in this dimension so you are able to see anything and everything.  this is why we experience deja vu.  we feel like we've seen something before because we have!  

and here in lies the beauty - piggy-backing on my last entry about the text in "the gita" - our only job to do while we are living here on earth is to give into the experience.  do our best work and know that god helped each of us to create a life that is enriching.  there are no mistakes.  there is no failure.  there is no earthly success.  there is only experience and surrender.  the liberation and the joy are found in surrendering to the power of the universe.

this life you are living is meant to be.  every thought that passes through your mind, every decision you make or don't make is a determined point on your personal timeline.  compare that timeline to the ocean's surface and imagine for a minute that you are a dolphin.  sometimes you dive deep and get lost in the ocean's attractions, but you have to keep coming up to the surface to take that next breath - no matter which way you swim, no matter what other sea creatures you may meet, you must come up for air.  and sometimes, when the mood strikes you, you propel yourself up from the depths and soar towards the sun.  but, still, of course, the surface awaits to receive you again.  if the ocean is earthly life and the sky is the universe, the surf is like an ever-present check-in point.  consistent and reassuring.  and that's where deja vu exists.  i love to think of deja vu as confirmation that i am on the right path and following through with my life's work, whether i've been diving deep or leaping to the sun, the surf is always there to reassure me that it's all good.

peace, love, gratitude,
v

do your best, let god do the rest

i observe time and time again that folks who are committed to one particular version of god have not taken the time to study the other stories that are out there in the world.  example.  a well-versed and confident christian knows every stitch of the new testament, every word that jesus has uttered and most likely has well-thought-out opinions about spirituality based on those amazing teachings offered by christ.  but if you ask that same christian about buddhist dharma, the koran or lessons taught in the bhagavad gita, 9 times out of 10 they will not be able to tell you what these concepts entail, or even a broad definition of what these things are.

there's a children's book by nathaniel hobbie called "priscilla and the pink planet".  priscilla is born and raised on this planet where everything is pink - houses, flowers, grass, even oranges.  she begins to question her monochrome environment and decides to set out on a search for another color.  finally she comes across a butterfly covered in magnificent shades of everything...  she's amazed and shocked b/c she's never seen anything other than pink.  suddenly a great queen appears with a net and snares the butterfly, promising priscilla that this "awful creature" will be locked underground with all of the other colorful things.  priscilla thinks carefully.  she politely argues to the great queen, "if all colors were out for the wide world to see, pink would look even pinker.  don't you agree?"  the queen has a change of heart, sees the light so to speak.  she releases the imprisoned colors and priscilla leaps home in bliss, enjoying her new, diverse and colorful world.

of course when my kids read this book they see an adventurous little girl going out to indulge in curiosity and discover something exciting.  when i read it, i see it as a great metaphor for religious and spiritual awareness.  if a christian wants jesus to look even jesusier, wouldn't it make sense to explore other faiths?  how can one argue that jesus is the only way to salvation when one doesn't know about the other paths of devotion?  all of these paths lead to heaven - even the path of the skeptic and the non-believer.  every life is sacred because a terrifically beautiful soulful energy lives in us all.  no exceptions.

so whether you are buddhist or hindu or muslim or christian, i encourage you to investigate the wisdom of other religions, if you have not done so already.  i think you will amazed by common themes, phrasing and messages that run through each.  as for me, right now i'm reading the bhagavad gita.  it's awesome.  it is THE yogi text, a classic indian scripture relaying a battlefield conversation between sri krishna and a warrior named arjuna.  the title translates to "song of the lord" and i'm finding that it's just that.

my copy is translated by a man named eknath easwaran.  his translation is gorgeous and his introduction is incredibly well-written.  i was reading and rereading and rereading a portion of the introduction last night, excitedly sharing this new shift of consciousness with my husband.  i want to share it with you today...

from the gita:  "you have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work.  you should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction.  perform work in this world, arjuna, as a man established within himself - without selfish attachments, and alike in success in defeat.  for yoga is perfect evenness of mind."

there were a few things i got excited about with this.  first, the way easwaran followed the excerpt with gandhi's interpretation:  "by detachment i mean that you must not worry whether the desired result follows from your action or not, so long as your motives are pure, your means is correct.  really, it means that things will come right in the end if you take care of the means and leave the rest to Him."

isn't this a load off?  the pressure for success or the fear of failure is not ours to bear!  what a relief!!!  our part of the bargain is that we commit with a pure heart to whatever it is we want to commit to, and god will be responsible for the outcome.  no matter how hard we try, we cannot change what is meant to be.  this reminds me of something my friend BD, a devout catholic, used to say - something his mom taught him.  "do your best and let god do the rest."  when i first heard him say it, i honestly thought it was a little corny, but i see clearly now.  and i see the beauty of the simple rhyme.  i actually have the saying written down on a little piece of paper and slip it into my kids' lunch boxes occasionally.

this theme is also evident in buddhism and reflected in a line written by deepak chopra in his novel "buddha".  "winning and losing are the same.  both are nothing."  here in lies the detachment.  it is not to say that we should give up or be complacent, just that we should not be so focused on the end result.  because it's not the result that matters.  the learning and growing occur in the process.

my journey as of late has led me to, amongst other things, practicing hot yoga.  as expected when reading a text like the gita, i discover countless ways to apply its lessons into physical manifestation over 90 quiet minutes in a sweaty yoga class.  my yoga practice is a physical demonstration of staying present in the moment, trying my hardest to master a pose - sometimes with precision, sometimes ending in a clumsy heap on the floor.  whatever the result, the reward rests deeply and peacefully in the journey.

peace, love, gratitude,
v

i'm back. period.

i've been feeling a strong pull to come back to my blog and over-share once again.  it's hard to pick something back up when you've been away from it for a long time.  as they say, if you don't use it you lose it.  i find the sobering truth of that old line in almost everything i do:  exercise, cleaning, sex, writing, reading, meditating, yoga, cooking...  it only takes a few days or weeks of not practicing and suddenly we find ourselves with a hundred other things to fill those previously busy time slots.  we forget about those fundamentals that we used to be so diligent about performing, and suddenly we find it's really difficult to get back on the horse.  so i'm stealing another oldish line from nike tonight as i sit down in front of my computer and warm up my rusty fingers - just do it.  so here goes...

as i was cooking dinner tonight (well, not really cooking, more like assembling, because assembly (not cooking) of food is my culinary sweet spot), i contemplated the opening line for my first blog post back in so many months...  "you thought you were rid of me, but i'm back..."  "just when you thought you were free of my crazy spiritual rantings..."  that type of thing.  but then i stopped.

for as long as i can remember i've qualified my opinions, actions and choices in advance.  a little bit of self-deprecation to say, "i know i'm a little weird but i want you to know that i know i'm a little weird and i'm really okay with it, even if you're not."  or that classic example - instead of taking a compliment i put myself down or tell someone how cheaply i got my blah blah blah for.  all in the same vein of insecurity, right?

lately i've been making a conscious effort to not qualify my opinions, shortcomings and personal decisions.  sometimes even testing out bold one-liners like, "yes, i am pretty good at this, aren't i?"  i'm also (still) working hard on saying, "thank you."  now, in case you are like me and don't recognize that punctuation mark terminating this commentary, that's called a period.  if i could draw an arrow on your screen it would be pointing to that little dot after the letter "u".  i hardly ever use it after the words "thank you" because i'm usually continuing on like this, "thank you for giving my son a ride home, i'm a total moron and scheduled a doctor's appointment during pick up.  i suck," or, "thank you, i got it at target for 10 bucks," or, "thank you, i know some people think i'm a lunatic for exposing all of my deepest darkests on a blog but it's really been cathartic for me."  IS THIS NOT WHAT WE DO?  it's awful, isn't it?  and everyone does it!  and because everyone does it, we all continue to do it!

breaking the habit of issuing cheap excuses and self-belittlement for me has been a challenge.  it's not just with the thank-yous, it's with so many other things:

making excuses for not responding to emails:  i'm sorry, i guess it got buried in my inbox.

being the only woman at a table of 6 to order dessert after dinner:  i must be getting my period.

listing to my pastor the fifteen reasons i haven't been at church in a year:  it's so hard with three kids, and we've been skiing every weekend, oh, and then there's that little fact that i believe in reincarnation.

wheeling through the grocery while my kid is screaming:  so sorry fellow shoppers, my daughter missed snack time, i only slept for 3 hours last night, and goddamit i'm falling apart.  i am going to sweat like a pig for the next 20 minutes while my 3 year old melts the fuck down in the stop & shop then drive myself home sobbing big, fat tears of shame.

all of these comments are reflective of deep feelings of un-deservedness.  feelings of "i do not deserve to live the life that i want to live because all of these other people think of me in a certain way and i cannot disappoint them."

but whoa!  this isn't me!  this isn't you either!  we've been consciously working on our self-awareness, haven't we?  when we take a clear look at ourselves through our minds' eyes, we realize that this is not an accurate statement for ourselves.  we know better now, and now we have to let our habitual behaviors go.  let our conversation reflect who we are NOW - not who we were when we were 15.   we can do this, just through mindfulness.

okay, i'll go first.  this is me at 36, exactly the way i am.  these are my spiritual views, these are my fashion choices, these are my unexplained shortcomings, this is my messy house, these are my awesome children, these are the good and bad choices that i've made that have brought me to this place.  people can accept me or they don't have to.  it's okay either way because, on a soul level, we love each other.  because i am where i am supposed to be, who i am supposed to be, and i accept and love myself completely.  no put-downs.  no excuses.

alright, now your turn.

inside each of us is a brilliant, beautiful light.  a light that unifies.  a light that forgives.  a light that heals and loves.  a sacred light that is a chip off of heaven itself.  when we take a moment to sink into that light, we find limitless confidence and acceptance.  to do that godly light the honor it deserves, we need to respect ourselves, which means saying the toughest things to each other.  things like, "thank you.  period."

i just have to remind my mouth of this every once in awhile.  ;-)

peace, love, gratitude,
v